────────── by Lync Dalton ──────────
I’m a shaman and psychic skilled in animal communication. Psychic animal communication can occur in person or via photos of animals. These are animal energies (from individuals or collectives) channeled by me, mostly from photographs. Please note that this page does not mean to imply that animals have coherent and complete thoughts in human language (that’s been supplied by me), but rather is working off the fact that their energies are replete with fragments of things like thoughts, observations, and sensations. Animals do not talk.
“I look so good. I look like I’m made out of the best.” – a British Shorthair (cat)
“We look.. well, like we’re up to no good, we’re up to no bad.” – a Devon Rex (cat)
me: Are you a real lion?
lion: I can sprawl.
me: Are you sprawling right now?
lion: Yes.
me: ::heart eyes::
me: He’s dreamy.
Knabstrupper (horse) in photo: I look amazing. How did they do this?
me: ‘Only God can make a tree.’
Knabstrupper: Exactly. You get it.
“I did well.” – every foal that looks cute in a photo
“The other cats hate us because they wanted to do the mischief of thumbs.” – polydactyl cats
“They think we’re cute, but we know that we’re handsome. And we’re better than them.”
– cats, on humans
“Just so you know… whatever happened, I didn’t mind you.” – a backyard bird-on-human compliment
a dog, about horses: We think they’re funny. They look big.
me: They are big.
dog: Yeah, I guess…
me, petting my intensely beleaguered body: you are a very noble creature
my body: ::gasp::
“I know I love me. I understand me.” – baby fox
“I’m cute. I’m cute. I want to say I’m really in a mood.” – baby elephant doing antics
“I had a day, yes. I was mad, no… I said it!
…I said I needed my night.” – baby gorilla
“We’re all girls, except the boys.” – hamsters, on gender
“I wanted to be big so I could see who was there.” – Chinese giant salamander, on why they get so big
“I think if I know you, I’m any money.” – badass dolphin, on communicating with me psychically
me, upon learning that dolphins think about getting money: What do you want human money for?
badass dolphin (slangishly): So we can buy that!
pregnant beluga whale: I hate it if I did this.
me: Can you swim like that?
pregnant beluga: Honestly, no. I hate it if I did this. No one’s my friend when I’m like this.
Selkirk Rex (cat), on looking picturesque: I did think I look fake.
me: Yeah, you look fake.
Selkirk Rex: I look fake.
me: Why do you have such enormous paws? Did you become a big boy?
Selkirk Rex kitten in photo: I did.
Selkirk Rex: I did a cute thing.
me: Did you do it on purpose?
Selkirk Rex: No, it just happened.
“We can live forever if we want to. We never want to.” – betta fish
“I had a nice time.” – pet rats
“It’s the most important thing to be cute.” – snakes
Old English Sheepdog puppy: I’m a boy.
me: How did you find that out?
Old English Sheepdog puppy: It was not from a human. I asked my mom.
“I think me. My goodness. I think me, I’m doing it!” – baby chimpanzee song
“I did a romping
I did a romping
I did a little romping” – Rottweiler puppy song
“My dear little self. I am fun! I am great!” – baby bison song
“I did my thing.” – German Shepherd puppy
me: Don’t be too scary.
lions: Okay, well, fine…
cat: I thought I had eyes…
me: You do.
cat: Now I know that!
“Q: But what is the most beautiful butterfly?
A: The butterfly.” – butterflies
“Q: Ask yourself, what is happening that we don’t look beautiful?
A: Wait. We do.” – butterflies
butterflies: We want to see if we’re love…
butterflies: Really, it’s more like we’re… pretty.
butterflies: We really would not like to be understood as funny. We want to be understood to be nerds.
me: Would you like me to put that?
butterflies: Yes, if you would place it there…
“I would like a pet ferret.” – a ferret
birds: Snakes eat birds not never, but usually not. Because a bird can always fly away.
me: What about flightless birds?
birds: They’re fish. They know already.
“I’m wonderful. I think about it. Could I be better? No, I think I’m fine.” – foal
ostrich: Yeah, I’m a fish. I guess. I’m not an egret.
me: You don’t live in the water, though.
ostrich: Fish are everything else. That you don’t know about.
me: Huh. I guess that makes a certain sense, if I really think about it…
“I hate my day if I have this. Why would they do this to a woman?” – kitten in a car approaching a carwash
“I said ‘What the x?’ X is whatever I was thinking at the time. I’m a funny one.” – cat in pool table from a video
dog on couch in photo, face absolutely trashed on oblivion (note: common to dogs): I really love me.
kitten next to dog in photo: I hate my life.
me: Really!?
kitten: I hate my life. I’m not going to tell you why.
me: You don’t have to tell me.
kitten: …
kitten: It’s not a friend…
me: No?
kitten: No. It’s not really a foe either.
me: Okay, well I hope things get better…
kitten: Alright, bye.
me: Bye.
kitten: …
kitten: It’s the dog!
me: How old are you?
trout: Four five days… months. Years of my life!
me: I had a goldfish in a bowl that lived for around fifteen years. Do you think that was a sad fish?
fish: No, that fish was happy! We want to tell you that if a goldfish lives for fifteen years then they’re happy where they are.
bats: We love rats. We think we look like them, but they don’t notice, I don’t think.
rats: We do notice that! We love you too. But it’s like you fly or something, I don’t know.
bats: We fly. We do.
rats: Really? We didn’t know that! We didn’t know that. We honestly didn’t know that.
cat 1: I am beautiful.
cat 2: I am funny.
cat 1: I am very beautiful.
cat 2: I am funny enough.
(Posted September 19th, 2021)
Please credit me as your source and link back to the relevant page if you share (including reproduce and/or adapt) any of Weirdo Camp’s content. All rights reserved.
──── by Lync Dalton ────
PLEASE DONATE TO WEIRDO CAMP. Do you enjoy and/or enrich yourself with Weirdo Camp? Please send a donation via Paypal (see site sidebar) or to $alchemylynx on Cash App.
Want the coolest tax deduction in the world? Donate to Terra Thesis Institute.
