︵‿︵‿︵ by Lync Dalton ︵‿︵‿୨ 18+
From 2009 to 2014, I wrote and maintained an anonymous (pseudonymous) blog. This is not that blog. This is kind of like that blog. You can go back to the Weirdo Camp main site at any time. . .
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Posted October 18th, 2024:
Sophistry is the act of someone arguing the wrong point, by the (lack of) virtue of merely having learned to argue. Budding philosophers must watch out for this. It becomes important quickly.
Note: All thinking people have a responsibility to not argue or champion the wrong point, and to not be swayed by sophistry.
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Posted July 15th, 2024:
References and the way to properly use them have evolved a little bit in the last ten years or so. Millennials grew up in an age of unprecedented media saturation, and appreciated references a lot, using them like treasure hunts, trading cards. You usually knew at least one person who could explain them to you if you weren’t paying enough attention to articles and DVD commentary, and sites like TV Tropes sprouted to help you decode them. Of course the art of featuring (or recognizing) references was in part about showcasing your taste, and your understanding of another text (text being a term for the content of a work, which can include songs, films, comic books, publications like Weirdo Camp, etc.). If you put forward a work that had a reference without wanting it noticed, even during a time when people shared a lot of common references, well, that was more like plagiarism.
Now, you can’t expect people to share as many cultural points of reference with you. Network TV, blockbusters, FM radio, school curricula, and cultural touchstones still exist, but there’s much else, more than ever before, and some people can go their whole lives sticking to that. What this does in terms of references is make it essential that creatives define their references such that they are specifically identifiable to their audience in one way or another. They increasingly have to figure out how to provide a codex somehow, or not reference other works.
By the way, in citing Weirdo Camp (Weirdo Camp) for academic works, it should be acceptable to reference Weirdo Camp as a new media publication and each page as an article in whatever format you’re using. I’ll also remind you at this time that I’m asking that none of my writing be put in any AI applications in any context, nor is AI allowed to use me nor abuse me in any context. I assert all my rights. Thank you.
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Posted June 25th, 2024:
In media, the 1990s, 2000s, and 2010s did a lot with the theme that references are cool. Intertextuality, self-reflexivity, and metatextuality were a part of what made loving media part of an education, which was part of what made enjoying complex media safe. Was this a precarious thing? I don’t know, but it was precious to a lot of people.
But I guess around the 2000s and intensifying in the 2010s, on a personal level, there was that recoil thing. I guess most people don’t like identifying too much with media in a way that could ever be mistaken for resembling something inside it too much, but the echo of that is often very confusing when media presents with a lot of verisimilitude. Like, “this is like life, and it’s meant to remind you of life, but never seem like this yourself, or you will feel yourself caught inside an echoing that might remind you of… well, some cliché”, which is what?
You can probably already see what a rat race this is. A cliché has usually meant something that’s been used too many times, and isn’t sterling enough as it’s being used when called a cliché; one thing it is not is an automatic ticket to sophistication, but nor is the mere claim that something is cliché. In the 1980s you’d just tell someone that the thing is not a cliché if you disagreed with them. Sophistication, to a certain extent, is knowing the difference. What’s going on now? I think we’ve often been worried in these recent times, and really there’s a posture of anxiety around the possibility, that we might remind ourselves of the Kali Yuga, which is the tiredest thing we can imagine, maybe.
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Posted May 28th, 2024:
The time of EMPRESS in the Milky Way Galactic calendar (see below) is a trying one. People’s mettle is tested during this time, and hints of this resound through history, legend, and myth. During this period, humanity is identified as being solar or lunar on an individual basis. People are often born with slight tendencies toward a lunar aspect, a solar aspect, or even odds between the two, but solar vs. lunar is most of all characterized by choices. During EMPRESS specifically, lunar people are influenced too much by the confusion of the moon, which itself does not understand humans and humanity well, while the solar people remain very solid in their right understanding and right principles throughout all three theers of the sign. While our moon has many excellent characteristics, it is not the light to guide by.
This is why solar monarchs represent a gold standard for leadership in history, and they were sometimes even termed as such.
Note: This has nothing to do with me featuring the Moon motif at the top of the site. I’m committed to solar principles under this system, and have been since EMPRESS first hit.
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Posted May 6th, 2024:
Speaking of the structure of the Galaxy and strange times in history: *✶* (the Easter egg page associated with: a new esoteric calendar).
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Posted May 5th, 2024:
One of the most harmful quotes ever to be embraced in the English language is probably Lord Acton’s “power corrupts…” quote. Power does not intrinsically corrupt. What some people realized at in Acton’s time is that the man had had an affair with one of his maids, which resulted in a child, probably a daughter. He felt guilty about the whole thing. He had power in his community, but he felt that he’d been given something more like absolute power over a person like his maid because she was also in his employment. He knew he shouldn’t have abused it, and was almost certainly referring to that situation.
Never underestimate the human element. I don’t think the quote is meant to reference cartoonish abuses of power; I think he made some mistakes, and felt it. It’s a confession.
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Posted May 1st, 2024:
Quanta Magazine (found via Wired) recently reports that “physicists have deduced subtle hints that the mysterious ‘dark’ energy that drives the universe to expand faster and faster may be slightly weakening with time. It’s a finding that has the potential to shake the foundations of physics.” That is, recent observations have shown that dark energy apparently seems to be receding or “eroding” in some way.
The sky is falling.
But of course I’m thinking that both dark matter and dark energy have much to do with the actual structure of galaxies, and of my theory that our solar system seems to have navigated a corner lately, recently hitting a new straightaway. A corner tends to have more matter (and potential energy) than a straight line by section, and our galaxy’s corners seem very likely to be made up of dark matter, dark energy, or both (hint: because they do not glow). So of course it makes sense that if we’re past the corner we’d be observing less of whatever that is in our current area as we hurdle through space, which like your average journey does not feature a static landscape. Keep in mind that though the original article talks about huge spans of time, dark energy was reportedly discovered and presented in a paper in 1998, also that in fairness it is usually said to have to do with theories of expansion, not keeping cosmic structures together, though it is admitted to be mysterious. Astrophysics in general are mysterious, but our solar system’s movement through space is more than a mathematical constant. Maybe we were even approaching the same corner back then; if so it might have been a comparatively natural time to notice dark factors. Were they in front of us in those early observations? Not sure.
But I’m tentatively going to say that this recent finding appears to support my theory.
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Posted April 5th, 2024:
There are times in history when things become quite strange. Trying to figure out every little thing is like realizing you can only do so much with cobwebs. This doesn’t really change the big issues, though, which may start to seem mysterious but very much are not. Maybe some of the factors involved are steeped in mystery, perhaps, but the crux is the crux. The crux is always the crux. Maybe that’s one of the things human beings are supposed to be really good at.
Arthurian legend often seems to reference a time like this. Especially in Malory. People seem to be other people at times. Knights get mystical signals to journey somewhere far away, and are duly needed or helped there. However things may go, they are usually particularly scrupulous in listening to the wise.
In these tales, if a knight messed up and an innocent lady was harmed somehow, the knight was often made to make very serious amends, often having to display evidence of her death, if she did not live, on his body or livery, so that he would have to explain what had happened and speak tribute to her at each place he went, or else be identified as a monster who would display trophies of unspeakable acts.
Sociopolitically, the reign of King Arthur was a time when the concept of central government was coalescing in a particular way, one where the government had a certain duty to its people and to the land. But the mysticism is extremely important to those stories as well. Maybe excellent government always has a streak of mysticism incorporated into it.
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Posted April 4th, 2024:
For anyone wondering, yes, I find skinks (including legless skinks) viscerally terrifying, and in a way that is in fact distinguishable from actual snakes. I attribute this directly to them being dinosaurs.
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Posted March 30th, 2024:
It actually sort of does my head in how many animals there are that are so obviously snakes, but that taxonomy in Western science insists are not, in fact, snakes.
Scientific texts tell us that slow worms are actually lizards that lost their limbs through evolution, not real snakes. But I guess we’re supposed to forget that that’s what a snake is? Then, when pressed (you do this by reading more, mind you), they’ll say the difference is really about eyelids and ears, mostly, but not entirely. Because there are exceptions. But not slow worms, glass lizards, or legless skinks. Those are lizards that simply happen to not have legs and look exactly like snakes! Memorize this.
Well, fine. I don’t suppose there’s a particular reason those can’t each just be one of the slightly odd snakes?
And I suppose caecilians aren’t really overgrown earthworms, but I’m not sure they know that.
P.S. I think if you ingest something and get a flash of an image of a snake or the name of a species of snake, it may be wise to assume you’ve been fed snake venom against your will. It’s hard to believe things like this could happen, yes, but it seems these days they do. Please, can’t we have a better world than this?
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Posted March 14th, 2024:
“Day in the sun” has a different definition for different people. It’s situational and chronic. For some people, their “day in the sun” is whatever time when they weren’t screaming from the agony of hard knock after hard knock.
I think in the song from Cats, the cat who says “it’s so easy to leave me all alone with my memory of my days in the sun” is thinking of actual sunbathing, perhaps in one of those naturally cast window spotlights that houses make, as she is literally a cat. But she wants more, right?
P.S. Yes, I do have a lot of potential and want to fulfill it, including economically. Yes, I consider the entertainment industry and other industries taking things from me and not welcoming me into their fold extreme hard knocks.
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Posted March 8th, 2024:
When I was little, I would spend car rides watching cars. I had an impulse to wave to the cars, not the drivers, but I was given to understand quite quickly that this was not exactly polite.
I was positive that all the cars on the road were playing some sort of game, which explained why passing and lane changing were taking place. I called the game “fox hunt”, and its rules were a little beyond me. I wasn’t sure if it was the cars or the drivers who knew them; I just watched how they played it. I had no idea what happened when someone won, but I casually figured that it was probably always the designated fox who did, and that’s when the traffic would finally break into something I’d never seen before. Maybe there would be medals or something. I was pretty sure that wasn’t what those old Impala and Mustang badges were, mostly because no one ever talked about this game thereby making it far too mysterious to assume any such thing, but I liked them.
Yes, I liked cars quite a lot. Still do.
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Posted March 5th, 2024:
Facts about Weirdo Camp:
Weirdo Camp is called Weirdo Camp because the original concept was going to lean heavily on punk conventions, which I guess the current one sort of does too.
The Easter eggs on Weirdo Camp are special pages that are found through various links found across the site. Sometimes the links are a little hard to find, sometimes they’re really just a nonstandard character, or a one-line ascii picture, or part of one. Some of them are very, very easy to find, to the point of being found through standard links on other Easter egg pages. There are dozens of Easter eggs total on this site.
The content of the Easter eggs varies a lot, from little cosmic activities to lessons in alchemy to field reports on star systems, and more. They, like the site, are presented with good intentions, sincerity, and a sense of respectful playfulness.
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Posted February 9th, 2024:
I don’t have any kids. I don’t know if Weirdo Camp (main site and non-QP Easter eggs) is appropriate reading for children, per se. I think about adults when I’m writing. The site is philosophy, which is theoretically a fairly mature subject. I like to think of children getting a thorough education where they learn to discern between right and wrong, and later perhaps between the parts of philosophy writing that are foundational and the parts that are a little more fanciful, like my theories on aliens. I don’t know where Weirdo Camp fits in all that. I think of the whole site as being more for adults.
But I don’t have a particular quarrel with parents deciding the site is right for their kids, and there’s nothing really explicit anywhere on it. If they have parental permission, I’m willing to consider that a type of supervision. Just please don’t think this site is calibrated for children. I’m pretty sure that’s not what I’ve done here.
This in response to the idea that this is one of the cleanest sites on the internet, and I’ve been a little hesitant to welcome younger readers, even to the main site.
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Posted February 7th, 2024:
Starting last week, I only [redacted] things on [redacted] as a signal. The signaling never contradicts my writing here, nor my ongoing assertion of both my basic and my professional rights. Semi-relatedly, if certain events were ever supposed to mimic a certain piece of the Canadian pop literary canon, well, I’d like to point out that the girl seems to be treated pretty well by all concerned in what I’ve seen of it so far. I’m concerned that there’s something I really don’t understand about the way I’ve been treated. If people were fighting, I wasn’t in it. Someone could’ve just talked to me, and explained things. Please be nice to me. I’m once again asking to be free from abuse and bullying. I am a very nice girl (woman, if you like).
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Posted November 27th, 2023:
person with excellent depth perception: Look, up in the sky! It’s a huge man-sized bird! No, it’s a tiny man-sized plane! No, it’s Superman!
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Posted November 22nd, 2023:
It’s probably like I always used to say, that wearing red lipstick makes everything else you’ve done look like it was on purpose, from a style perspective.
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Posted November 9th, 2023:
Notes on the opposite of hipsters some criminals:
One of the greatest disservices the internet has done to female kind is the increasingly common suggestion that neurodiversity like autism– particularly female autism– carries the symptom of social mimicry, which seems to essentially give tacit permission for women to bite each other’s words and other forms of self expression and being. I worry sometimes that this has brought serious trouble into my life, and I’ll explain how I think it may have happened.
I took a neurotypicality quiz that was getting shared around on Quora years ago, and with whatever precision it had or did not have, it indicated I wasn’t entirely neurotypical. One or more of my [redacted] may have creeped my Quora between then and mid 2019, when I took down my results. Since then, one of them has face morphed me and claimed it was a “selfie”, another has significantly altered recordings of her voice while suddenly claiming she knows nothing about having access to a recording of me singing in a studio session at her request, and the latter has also quoted my own written words back to me, seemingly to sound compassionate. The things I had in storage were ransacked. They have also done violence to me.
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Posted June 18th, 2023:
Notes on hipsters:
I’m from Detroit, so hipsters. Maybe you don’t know that Detroit used to be the capital of hipsters in the early 20th Century and again in the very early 21st Century, but we sure did (that last clause being Pure Michigan).
Other major cities that had very thriving hipster cultural scenes (possibly also to the point of qualifying as “the capital”, to get my representations totally clear, but it was going to be hard to outhipster Detroit, good luck) during the oddly exciting hipster flowering of the aughts and 2010s include but are not limited to: Portland, Portland, Chicago, San Francisco, New York, Sydney, and Kyoto, according to Earth Logos. During this period, hipsters doubled down on the mainstreaming of hipsterism during the 1990s. Heady stuff.
Those who didn’t get their exposure to hipster culture geographically got it through the internet.
Hipsterism is extremely American in tone ever since the term for it kicked off as an adjunct to the jazz scene. It essentially means someone whose musical, audiovisual, or literary tastes are both refined by study and also present some kind of contrast to current mainstream aesthetics, either through dissimilarity, study, or obscurity. The word “taste” is a major factor there because if all the other hipsters you can imagine would definitely dislike your specific taste, you are an aspiring hipster, and hipsters will, unfortunately, tell you that that particular type of aspiring hipster doesn’t exist. They will very likely embrace the term “wanabee”.
Hipster culture is a little byzantine.
Hipsterism is therefore created to studiously contrast things, and on a social level, that can be glorious busywork, because people can have a lot of fun. The European alchemists that predated hipsters used to call that nigredo, more or less, and they had to do it with good intentions. Hipsters were well-intentioned too. It’s what helps make them cool. Everything had to be nerdy enough and non-aggressive, or you weren’t even an aspiring hipster. They called that a criminal, a lot of the time.
The irony of hipsters is what most people were afraid of in the 21st Century. Or even more so the sarcasm, but even the style of irony (which is slightly different, being even less direct than sarcasm, and an essentially artistic or spiritual experience) was originally optimized for the English language, and may have been somewhat idiomatic. Because of this, I’m not sure that people always realized how much hipsters were constantly circling a genuine quest for a kind of hypermodern, adequate sincerity.
And I guess that’s why hipster culture rises and falls just a little.
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Posted June 5th, 2023:
I finally watched Waterworld a while back. You know when, or thereabouts, if you can think back to the first time I would’ve likely noticed it on Netflix having already enjoyed, oh, The Walking Dead, let’s assume.
For me, this is a great example of a movie that specifically goes better over multiple dedicated sittings. I think I watched it in two, but it might’ve been three. I’m convinced it’s because of the color palette, which is so nautical and apocalyptic that in a lot of scenes nearly everything you see is a shade of the same color: greyish brown here, greyish brown there, greyish brown everywhere except for the sea, which is often indigo. Something gets exhausted.
But I liked it a lot. I thought it was exactly the right size of narrative for what we were looking at, color satiation aside. I think the main protagonist’s boat looks mysteriously like one of the vehicles depicted in stone relief at the Temple of Seti I in Abydos.
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Posted April 20th, 2023:
I’m still waiting to look normal again. I look odd enough due to a temporary health anomaly that I have to wait. Long story; very long, actually.
If you ever have something similar happen, I humbly predict that you’ll find what I’ve learned on the subject to be helpful when that hopefully distant day comes, and maybe we’ll talk about it. Yes, I’m willing to feel sorry for you at that time.
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Posted April 4th, 2023:
When people say the past few decades had no identifying style and culture characteristics and I’m like…
1990s: Grunge or rap, flannel, boots with everything, pixie cuts, layers, the mysterious palette between pastel and neon, irony and breaking the fourth wall, more and more and more products.
2000s: Hip hop and Japanese street fashion influences, bags and shoes cults, modern bangers were invented, hipster philosophies reached their peak.
2010s: Stripper-to-street wear, harem pants silhouettes, all the makeup at once, mumble rap, Wilhelm scream, irony to post irony, mistaking poetry slam writing for new ideas.
2020s: Totally ruined so far. I forget what else.
(Temporary note: I wanted to put this up on the fourth, but I think it may have accidentally posted early.)
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Posted March 13th, 2023:
I’ve been too poor to breathe straight for my entire adult life, pretty much. My chronic illness-related health issues are of the sort that has made it impossible to work a normal, steady job. The health to just pick up and do labor for pay is a kind of wealth, and well do I know it. It became one of my biggest dreams to just be independent, to afford a place to live and take care of myself, and maybe a pet.
A pipe dream. A pipe dream. The thing I could never get.
Don’t worry, I know you might not like whining, so I’ll stop. I’m going to keep on trying my best.
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Posted March 12th, 2023:
Please let me live.
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Posted March 2nd, 2023:
Turn-ons at this point:
- one of us remembers the umbrella
- the right commitment
- innocuous giggle fits for two
- honor code on point
- compatibility
- any bed we’re ever on is a party
- really gets it, ya know?
- will resist any urge to join the cosmically dark side even if we break up
- knows the lyrics sometimes
- loyal to a virtue
- fly-ass cuddle game
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Posted February 14th, 2023:
Be mine. ♥‿♥
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Posted February 8th, 2023:
Yep, it’s weird that I’m a shaman and I think that animals talk to me. Now with that being said, I need to tell you about this thing about dogs.
Where I live, there’s this dog named Tasha. She tells me that dogs hear the words humans say differently, to the tune of her name sounding like “Manna” to her ears. We say and hear “Tasha”, but to her it’s more like “Manna”. I’ve had a few of these conversations. Every dog has this, where their name sounds different to them than it does to us, apparently.
The other day I was watching a YouTube video and a dog appeared on screen who claimed their name sounds like “Thingo” to them, which I love, but I do not know what this translates to in human, which is to say I don’t know what humans actually call this dog.
I really think I’m probably going to end up asking in the comments one day, and then I’ll know.
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Posted January 30th, 2023:
The fact is I do not know what happened with my last relationship. One day we were closing every evening with me saying “Let’s stay together” with my hand on his chest and him saying “That’s for sure” and turning out the light and then all of a sudden it was like he just pushed me off a cliff. Why was it like that?
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Posted January 16th, 2023:
2023 is not retro yet. I understand. It’s too bleak. The way I reminisce now it’s precious, and private. I have to think of scraps of moments because a lot of the people I spent time with in the past have actually hurt me too much, and they would know what I mean by that. Near the beginning of the internet I decided to be precocious and write a blog essay about how I feared courtesy was dead. Later I decided I’d been hasty, and that people were good. Why? I guess I thought they wanted to be. There’s something so beautiful that always seemed to flow naturally between people doing the right enough thing.
So when I want to feel like the past has good images for me now, I think of parks, and walks alone, and even corners of certain shops, just because they were cozy, I guess, and had become familiar.
I quake a little when I think of human faces. Maybe that’s why I think it’s the apocalypse.
I keep wishing that the seminal web comic Apokemon (Apockymon? Apokymon?) was still on the web. I might not be spelling it right, which would explain why I almost remembered it being being made into an indie comic book, but can’t find it now. It was a faithful retelling of the apocalypse described in the Book of Revelation with pokemon-style full-color illustration that reveled in the book’s absurdity: the creepy lamb, the gleeful weirdness of the angelic figures, the fanfare of the seals. I’d probably be reading it right now if I could.
What’s hip now? Wait. Don’t tell me. It’s Revelation, isn’t it? Otherwise, it’s probably not that we’re in retro. What decade would we pick?
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Posted January 15th, 2023:
I bought a stag plushie about a year ago so I could look into its eyes, and noticed that it kind of works for loneliness, so yeah, I guess you could say I’m lonely.
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Posted January 12th, 2023:
I don’t want to sound paranoid here, but if anyone’s angry that I stopped writing Quizzical Pussy, can you forgive me now? Can you please forgive me for anything I might have done that you didn’t especially like? I never meant any harm, and I don’t think I did any. I had my reasons for going on hiatus with the blog and then allowing it to be taken down, and they had a lot to do with hardship and frankly getting to thinking that no one cared about me or the project. I’m doing this now, and I really hope you like it.
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Posted January 1st, 2023:
Happy New Year. I love you.
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Posted December 19th, 2022:
Top five best places to cry:
5. In your car, parked. It really has to be in park.
4. In your bed, probably under blankets up to high torso level or higher.
3. In the shower. This is the smoothest cry you can do by far.
2. On another person’s shirt. In stories when they say someone wept on someone else’s neck, this was not ideal. It is rather uncomfortable and almost sticky to have tears fall on your neck.
1. Directly onto your dream come true, unless it is water soluble.
I was actually going to have #1 be “1. Your eyes.” as kind of a punchline, and I don’t know why I’m telling you that. But I think the list looks just about right as is.
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Posted December 13th, 2022:
I don’t care about looks more than anything else and I never have, but if we’re in love I’m extremely likely to appreciate the way you look. Over the years I’ve gotten good at identifying what kinds of beauty people have going for them, like their top two categories. I don’t have to describe them, but I often can.
Of course I want to be extremely beautiful all the time myself.
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Posted December 8th, 2022:
I finally saw the movie Frozen. I thought I’d get around to it eventually. I was cold the entire time watching it, coincidentally, which was not the enhancement you might think it would be.
Frozen was good. I remember when it came out some people were saying it reminded them of depression. I think they were probably thinking of the part where one of the characters refused to come out of her room for an entire adolescence.
I guess I moreso keep thinking about the part where the kingdom had already suffered so much from preternatural wintry mix, then was saved by a return to summer, but then later at the end all those people gathered to calmly watch those same powers freeze the ground and fountains again, and they just went skating on it. What does that say about trust and leadership? I can’t even tell, but it’s something, isn’t it?
Is the world ruined? Is my life going to stay ruined?
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Posted September 25th, 2022:
Please share and promote Weirdo Camp. It’s a good idea whose time has come. Here’s some information on it. Here’s the actual link.
I need a real chance out there. The options are limited for disabled women like me.
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Posted September 23rd, 2022:
Quick and dirty Apocalypse test, for determining whether or not we are indeed in some kind of collective apocalyptic scenario:
1. Does the world we’re living in this year still seem better than the dysfunctional future world portrayed in the 2006 movie Idiocracy? Not just different, but better?
2. How much better?
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Posted September 20th, 2022:
Sometimes when I’m sleeping, I dream of flying. Like the superpower, not anxiety dreams about air travel or whatever. Every time it’s the same. I can leap very high, and the air just catches me. The sensation is marvelous.
No one else in any of these dreams ever cares that I can fly. I don’t even think they notice. There are always other things going on. I never quite get enough flying in.
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Posted September 1st, 2022:
I remember when people in general understood that they wanted to be good people, and had to try. I joked on QP that I was probably a bad person because I’d heard of sex and all, but my thesis on that site was that I really wasn’t. It was that sex itself was usually something different than bad. I wanted to high five you guys. I don’t know.
What’s been going on? And what has taken over? And, you know? Fight it. Is it something a bunch of you guys have been watching lately? I don’t even want to ask what’s in the water most days, but I do. Where has that mission to be good that was born so naturally within people gone? Mine is vital and understands good as the right direction.
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Posted July 8th, 2022:
It’s a very bad sign when someone indicates that they have dated a lot, but have no exes.
Have you ever run into this? Someone will say that they hold onto people forever after they date and/or smash with them, and I’m like…
“…You are a Sci Fi/horror trope. Those villagers should be running…”
I’ll break it down briefly: they hold onto people so that they can feel a sense of control, and then they often utilize it. There’s usually a lot of manipulation involved. They don’t want exes, and they don’t particularly want you to have compatible currents. Ever notice that?
It is actually still really good to avoid people that you have correctly determined to be toxic.
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Posted July 2nd, 2022:
On further consideration, I really do believe that Guy Razzmatazz’s girlfriend’s name is Clandestine (emphasis on the first syllable, like Clementine).
Guy: I’d kneel on boulders for you, Clandestine…
Clandestine: My zero!
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Posted June 17th, 2022:
If you ever want us to be important to each other, please never communicate with people from my past behind my back (people from my past also refers to anyone who may appear to have some kind of permanent status in my life). I’ve learned that I have to consider it a safety issue. I’ve learned that people conversing behind my back unscrupulously has cost me dearly in my life, and I don’t believe it ever came to any good. It’s been devastating, frankly, and I’ve always considered that kind of thing to be out of bounds socially and personally. I think most trustworthy people do, and lapses tend to cost.
Please never talk about me behind my back in any way that might cause me trouble or violate my privacy or rights in any way. It’s never been fair.
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Posted May 15th, 2022:
I want to be in a power couple.
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Posted April 24th, 2022:
I’ve been playing The Sims and Time Princess on the cellphone lately, which (in addition to the thrilling Aquarian Age odyssey that is Weirdo Camp) is my fun.
Time Princess is one of those dress-up game apps, and has elements of Choose Your Own Adventure storybooks. I find it charming so far. (I do think that adults should probably stay away from or exercise extreme caution with the chat elements of the game and discussion groups about it because kids might be playing it. It is that kind of game. It’s also best not to message with minors. Make sure not to be creepy.)
They let you cuddle digital cats in it, a mighty nice feature. It is so exciting to get new outfits.
They have new mini games every so often. There’s a new one, a puzzle game where a jaunty man wearing a cape (update the next day: I thought about this and it’s probably a black trench coat, and please understand that the collar is popped) gets treasure while defeating scary men in helpful uniforms to crack safes, etc. I call him Guy Razzmatazz (French pronunciation of Guy if preferred, and don’t ask me what his girlfriend’s name is because I don’t know), and I don’t feel like I trust him. We get no backstory as to why we’d ever side with Guy.
I think I’m sick of antiheroes.
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Posted April 20th, 2022:
I’ve been listening to hip hop since I was little. I’m from metro Detroit, and some of the local radio stations were really on hip hop then. It was mainstream hip hop, mostly, but it was clear that they had swears where the bleeps were. A bunch of us figured it out.
I also liked musicals so much that they comprised most of my budding singing repertoire back then. In musicals, both good guys and bad guys usually get songs, and overall there’s a relatively huge range of subjects to sing about in them. Concept albums sometimes get you into extremely varied territory as well, and I tend to like those too.
In general, though, I like a ton of music. I’m a musician who loves, loves, loves music. I also think I’m quite good at recognizing what are often known in contemporary lexicon as bangers.
Bangers are about how a song sounds, and that’s just about the long and short of it. I have a high tolerance for explicit content, especially if the sound is holding me tight. I sometimes say that a song is a point of view, not instructions. Only sometimes do songs seem to have a message, but they’re usually exploring a point of view that someone has, has had, or might have.
When I was trying to figure out in the early 2010s how to organize music I liked into digital playlists, I thought of naming them after antagonists in fiction. I want to say that some of the tracks on these playlists are challenging and/or bawdy. Like, it’s not zero. But in music, challenging is often called punk or prog, and at Renaissance festivals they consider bawdy songs good for stress relief. I developed my playlists so that they provide artistic framework.
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Posted March 2nd, 2022:
I’m better suited to long, sweet relationships, I think. I’m a lot of fun in short relationships, but I don’t initiate them.
I’m even good at loving strangers as long as they’re good and decent. They are like water. I was born with my Sun, Moon, Venus, and Mars in Aquarius.
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Posted February 18th, 2022:
If I know that someone is evil, I don’t even want to find them attractive. They’re too messed up for me.
I think people who intentionally pursue actual enlightenment and set the right good examples for others are exciting. The full reconstructed modern moral hero is very current for sexy. I am biting my lip right now in fascination.
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Posted February 7th, 2022:
When I was writing my ridiculously-named blog (QP) under an anonymous pseudonym, I knew I’d want to write under my own name eventually, rather than pouring my heart out under a pseudonym. It’s probably obvious enough that I didn’t anticipate that things would get so weird in my life and all around me. I thought I would continue to write philosophy, though.
P.S. Have bloggers or writers in any genre I’ve been in been systematically abused online? I’m begging for that to go better now for us if it’s ever happened. Please.
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Posted January 31st, 2022:
“Confess the good, confess the bad, confess the Circe and the cad.” – vintage QP ConTuesday quote
How much of a dork was I? An amount.
(Happy Tuesday.)
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Posted January 27th, 2022:
Strange but true: I’ve been threatened with rape so many times over the last few years that I had to start carrying condoms in my walker (which has pockets, and which I sometimes use for walks alone) in 2020.
I haven’t used any. I haven’t had sex since before moving back to the States. I was physically raped in 2019, and it was difficult for me. I was very afraid of the person after that, and I’ve tried to let people know he’s capable of violence, but it was a time in my life when no one was listening to me when I voiced the problems I was having. I’ve never sexually assaulted anyone in any way. It’s not getting rare to have never done that, is it?
Please let me be safe; I still dream of things going well for me. Please don’t assault people. Rape fantasies between consenting adults are a different conversation, I understand, and the thesis of that conversation may well be: safe words.
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Posted January 26th, 2022:
My old blog was a love fest for a reason. I was trying to reach across the internet to you, to express my humanness. As a writer, I wanted that writerly platonic connection with men, women, adults of all genders, and I wanted a real life too. I do love you, if you’re reading this, probably.
It isn’t a scary kind of love. I’m not a threat, I’m a philosopher. Please don’t bully me.
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Posted January 25th, 2022:
I smell naturally good. I make scents smell good, too. Oh geez, I’m doing affirmations, aren’t I?
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Posted January 24th, 2022:
I’ve got so many projects in me. And I have my methodologies in mind for how to make these great. I’ve discussed co-writing several films with astral visitors.
I found a story from my past life memories that I want to turn into a Roman Empire era war movie. It’s the story about how stirrups were invented, which is a point of trivia you learn is lots of history classes. But there’s a story behind it. Some of the people I’ve talked to about this were there too, in whatever sense they are their past lives, I guess. Yes, it has horses.
Also, when my life gets better, I’d like to work more on my novel TalentBall.
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Posted January 22nd, 2022:
Polyamory can potentially be good, I believe. Lately if it comes up I keep thinking it’s for the rich, but let’s face it, I like horses. I’m not judging. People in any of the ethical nonmonogamies have to have plenty of skill and maturity to make their relationships seem as blessed as basic monogamous dyads in which the people are still having sex.
During times of peace and plenty, ethical nonmonogamy sounds like Eden play. I guess it always did.
One thing I may still like about the idea of polyamory is having multiple strong connections with people that can amount to lifelong bonds as strong as lovers tend to have. Relationship bonds like that over time can be a community in the making, theoretically. Though also theoretically you can have that with other forms of ethical nonmonogamy, and not just polyamory (which is generally understood to be the most open-ended form of nonmonogamy, and is consistently observed to get especially volatile), if combined with strong friendships. If a community involving nonmonogamy (or any other community) does form, children always have to be carefully protected, including from romantic and sexual abuse, including overtures (and bullying and abuse in general must be firmly disincentivized and watched out for). That has been true every decade.
(note: Now that some time has passed, I’ve been thinking about how my ex Laramy and I used to talk about sort of liking the ethical nonmonogamy model more for us [and I sometimes tended toward the umbrella term of consensual nonmonogamy on QP back in the day], on the principle that poly drama is exhausting [even to watch, much less try to manage]. It seems to have gotten increasingly scary, what with “poly scene” terrorist crime nests and so forth erupting lately in a staggering defiance of all ethics and all common sense. Even if it’s no longer considered any kind of faux pas in its intrinsic linguistic tension of Greek vs. Latin in a single word, it’s telling that a lot of people are moving away from the term or prefer to avoid it. Maybe you are never like “Oh, sweet”…)
(note: Twin Peaks reference and Chris Fleming reference both intentional.)
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Posted January 20th, 2022:
I had decided I didn’t want to meet the guy I ended up calling “Oren” on my old blog. And that I didn’t want to date him. This was 2012. We’d started connecting on a dating site. We met up at a public event I’d been asked to promote if it ever came up, after he asked me what I was doing that month. He’d showed me a piece of writing he had up online under an anonymous username, and even apart from the content, something about it felt off. Phone calls weren’t going that well.
Yes, I was lonely at the time. Maybe that was my first mistake. And when we hung out in person, I barely recognized him from his emails and writing. The energy seemed different, and I didn’t realize how much it was just a facade. I honestly thought a person’s honor would kick in when faced with someone in my position. My intentions were good.
Quickly after we started dating, he was enthusiastically telling me he wanted to become the best man he could be with me, and enlisting my help along the way.
And that is my kink. I love that sort of thing. That’s for real sometimes, isn’t it?
It wasn’t okay, what he was really up to. I was vulnerable, and this wasn’t right. Everyone expects love to be more fair than that. And war crimes are never to be tolerated.
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Posted January 11th, 2022:
My ex who trafficked me to Canada (I legally immigrated but it was a human trafficking situation assisted by both of his parents and his ex wife), whom I called “Oren” on QP wants a better reputation than he deserves, especially since our relationship started and subsequently ended. He wants to be known as a compassionate yet reasonable liberal male, with his Canadian citizenship and his having partnered me, a disabled woman, as his only bona fides. His ex wife, whom I called “Poppy” on QP, seems to perhaps want a reputation she does not deserve. She may have been reading QP and plagiarizing me in academia during the 2010s or earlier. I hear plagiarizing me is a real problem in their group.
Out of curiosity, how many people snuck into grad school using one of my essays from the internet?
I taught “Oren” philosophy in good faith while we were together, including political philosophy and discourse. He came to me in 2013 or 2014 asking for guidance in being a better person, and one of the things we worked on was bringing him from his habits of writing liberal invective to writing discourse, which he told me he enjoyed more. I don’t look at what he spouts now, but he learned to talk the talk. I live my philosophy.
I have reason to believe he may have received some bizarre encouragement and help– seemingly even from high profile parties– in gaslighting me into staying with him even though he had (or developed) bad intentions. If you sponsor someone for immigration to Canada and do not intend to keep your promises to them to maintain them in Canada, taking considerable money from them in the process, then steal most of their possessions in the midst of committing and planning extreme crimes against them, you have human trafficked that person. It was that, and even worse than that. I had to flee Canada. I was terrified.
I have politely asked him to do better, on all these matters.
I was a great partner to “Oren”. He told me constantly that I was the nicest person in the world (and I was very nice to him and I was nice to others before, during, and after my stay in Canada, which by 2015 was where I intended to live for the rest of my life). This man was in fact someone who had pledged himself to me, who’d promised to take care of me for the rest of my life. He told me I was giving him the exact sex he wanted in his life (note: I am now afraid that he may be promoting pedophilia since I left Canada, which is unrelated to me and has nothing to do with the sex life that we had; our sex life is now over since 2019). He told me that he was practically obsessed with my looks, in a good way. He told me that he liked how I kept the house, and that he loved my cooking and our life together. In fact, our biggest relationship problem in 2019 was that I’d had to stop cooking for him temporarily as I nursed a harrowing bout of tuberculosis, of all things. I am now recovered from the tuberculosis.
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Posted January 6th, 2022:
Polyamory? Yeah, I’ve heard of polyamory.
Years ago, when I was still writing Quizzical Pussy, I embarked on some polyamorous relationships. I was still getting over a breakup, and I met some people who talked a good game about having seemingly realistic blissful polyamorous marriages, where everyone involved could be good friends. I thought that if there were marriages involved, that might be a stable enough dynamic for someone like me, disabled and needing stability in life. I brought a lot to the table, including many of my friends, and spontaneous personal and couples counseling by me (a skilled shaman) for the people in my relationship dynamics. One of my new polyamorous partners told me that his family was planning an intentional community, and that I could have a home there.
I thought that could be a future. His primary partner encouraged me all the way, and told us not to break up when I had doubts. She was the one who asked me to move in with him to help out when she moved to another household with another partner, allegedly getting the ball rolling for an intentional community. We toured houses together during this time.
I found out later that these two– whom I called “Oren” and “Poppy” on my blog, who’d met in school back in British Columbia, had been lying indiscriminately everywhere they went, ever since agreeing to adopt a lie-as-much-as-possible policy in conspiracy with a group of students in their high school graduating class. I’m not kidding. They were in their thirties by the time I moved in with “Oren”. I’ve been made aware that they and others have been maligning me indiscriminately, asking people to lie for them, and at times impostering me over the last several years.
By 2019 those same people along with a group of polyamory enthusiasts and child sex traffickers (again, this is a true story) had conspired to destroy my life completely for what seems like depraved “fun”, after I’d immigrated to Canada to maintain my eventually-primary-and-only relationship and my living and survival situation with “Oren”. He discouraged me from seeing other people the entire time I was living in Canada, and I was rarely able to even socialize without him monitoring me. I am very poor, but he still managed to exploit me financially, and he and his family may still be doing so. He stole most of my possessions and kicked me out of my home as part of the process of destroying my life. I was just starting to recover from a long-term acute illness at the time, and was treated with absolute discourtesy and brutality. “Oren” didn’t lie about being happy with me. It was obvious that he was. He just threw it all away.
What is polyamory beyond platitudes and the restating of platitudes?
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Posted January 2nd, 2022:
So let’s say that it really is the Apocalypse, and the decades leading up to the Apocalypse were not amazing to grow up in. Cats make better mothers*, perhaps.
A lot of us have relationship baggage by now. I know my own baggage pretty well at this point, mostly it’s from trauma, and a lot of it is from recent major human rights abuses of me. I’ve learned to deal with trauma as an advanced shaman does, even new trauma, even on the fly, but I get swamped sometimes these past few years by the fresh stuff such that I do end up having a serious stress reaction sometimes, which I always contain discreetly and politely. My life has gotten like that, and it’s not my baggage doing it. In a different situation, I know things could be much better for me.
Relationships can be hard with Apocalypse-stage levels of baggage, but a lot of us still want to know each other. Life finds a way. Avoid extreme toxicity. I kind of trust that you know it when you feel it, generally.
I’m really good at finding the correct tweaks for interpersonal situations where all the parties are well-intentioned, so that relationships become more sustainable. It’s a skill set. If people are also well-intentioned toward the Universe, one may have the makings of an enlightened community, where people do very well. Democracy was pitched to us as a system for an enlightened community, here in the United States of America where I currently live and its democracy-by-republic structure.
*(Truly decades are the mothers of us all.)
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Posted January 2nd, 2022:
I’ve often thought that I’d like to have an oval solitaire engagement ring. I have a theory that they hurt less than the others. The situation there might be similar with cushion cut. I think if a solitaire has a halo, I’d want a sufficient rim of metal around the halo so it doesn’t hurt. I think pavé hurts. I’ve been in a chronic pain plus abuse-unto-torture situations in my life for too long, and I think that might be where my otherwise unrelated fascination with jewelry that is totally painless comes from.
Alexandrite is a stunning gem that’s hard enough for a ring (rings should be a very hard stone if worn often), and it does something impressive in candlelight, which I think seems romantic. Diamonds are the classic choice.
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January 1st, 2022:
Happy(?) 2022. Go easy. Peace.
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