Now that I’ve told you about my Sims, I’m feeling somewhat committed to giving you an update on how they’re doing. I don’t know why. They are, in fact, fine. They’re always fine enough. I’m not sure that Sims can even die, come to think of it. And everyone wants to give them nice things.
On dialogue: Now, to be clear, speaking in the purely digital sense, Sims can talk to one another in the game, but they only talk in gibberish. I’m spontaneously channeling them like they’re fictional characters, and that’s how I’m quoting them in English. As usual, I do not claim to be able to translate gibberish particularly well. It seems that Sims no longer say “Deg deg”, which I think they did used to say for goodbye. Now they just leave, like they’re ending a phone call in a movie or TV show, without saying a word.
By the way, did you know that dog bowls cost them 5,000-8,000 Simoleons (cunning usage of the slang to this day goes to the Sims family of games) apiece?
Current Sim roster:
Andre: Andre moved to a bigger house yet again. Long story. Andre and Sea are not doing so well as a couple. That’s their update. Sea is sick of Andre not taking things seriously enough and Andre keeps cracking jokes at the wrong time. Things are tense. Andre does not want Sea to move in even though I notified all my Sims that they should couple up so that I could make new Sims without having to build new houses. What gives, Andre?
Narelle: Narelle had a brief fling with Gray. He had a dream about her and they danced in the rain for a while. Honestly, it was part of an in-game challenge, and they both snapped out of it pretty quickly. My Sims decided that Narelle’s house has the best view in town, where it looks out on the harbor. I put a window in her bathroom for this reason. We almost put one in her bedroom too, but she had a picture of the ocean in the way, and liked that better. Alright, Narelle.
Tom: Tom and Twyla are both very into work right now. I’m not mentioning anyone’s jobs just like I’m not mentioning their last names. Is that fine? They’re just Sims. Tom and Twyla took some time out to help Sea renovate. They all gazed into mirrors and remembered their past mistakes, for over three hours each. Intense. Tom and Twyla still certainly seem to be in love. Tom calls their “Be Romantic” option “57 Seconds in Heaven”.
Twyla: Twyla got a nice Siamese cat named Finches. Twyla likes to make up little songs for Tom, and he loves them. Did I mention that she put seven ferns in their enormous bathroom, while Tom was at work without her for once, and they now like to call it a “lagoon-like bathroom” for giggles?
Sea: Sea is so ambitious lately. He’s been renovating a house in the desert, and he talked about moving there with Andre, but Andre said the place wasn’t ideal and that he preferred his current setup in his ranch McMansion, which he then impressed himself by calling a McRanchion. I think Sea’s going to get a husky and possibly a new boyfriend soon.
Dylan: Dylan went for it with Gray after a brief disappointment involving Narelle and a rainstorm, and they’re living together now. They’re sweet together so far.
Gray: As soon as Gray moved in with Dylan, we made a special Sim magician room for him. A dramatic archway opens into the small chamber from right off the living room. Gray also wanted an extra door put in the bedroom because he personally cannot stand that Sims thing where they’ll just go outside to go between rooms. Dylan said that the two of them should talk about what their kids are going to be like, and Gray said “They’ll be happy”. She thought that was the most romantic thing.
Agrippa: Agrippa got a sweet German Shepherd and promptly named him Shadowfax (like from Lord of the Rings). Turns out Agrippa’s kind of a jock; he likes to spend a lot of time at the gym. He thinks that Twyla is very beautiful, but he means no disrespect to Tom.
Arnold: Arnold is the new guy, and got the house right next to Dylan. Works with Andre. Arnold requested his bed be pushed against the wall as a preliminary preventive measure against Woohoo, although he’s not necessarily against moving it. He wanted red countertops, which was a bold color choice in that kitchen.
Starry: Starry is new as well, and currently living in Tom’s old place (which Andre also lived in briefly, leaving eggshell colored walls in every single room). Starry is rescuing a puppy, which might be a Greyhound, but I’m not sure. She wants to name the puppy Chops if she can keep her. She’s reading a puppy book for 22 hours or something absurd like that right now.
Irulan: Irulan is new too, and currently in Gray’s old townhouse (which Twyla lived in very briefly before that). Rather religious (which Narelle is too, kind of). Irulan was very direct in telling Arnold they could be boyfriend and girlfriend this morning. He was like “Oh, interesting. Do you want to…” and Irulan cut him off, saying “No. I’m just informing you.” and left. They still haven’t kissed.
Are we living in a simulation?
──── by Lync Dalton ────
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